I was too productive
A more mindful approach to productivity, and how I got there
I somehow became a productivity app YouTuber. Kind of by accident. For the last ten years or so, my biggest dream has been to become a full-time content creator or influencer. I have always enjoyed standing in front of people. In school, oral presentations were my favourite thing. I also remember how I would create Twitter accounts every year for the Tour de France and live-tweet about the races. I love creating content. When I was posting about fashion on TikTok, I also started creating YouTube videos around productivity apps. Mainly because I was lonely and I wanted someone to discuss productivity apps with. I filmed one video every single day for over a year. Then I went to one video every weekday, and now it is one every week. The worst part was that I lost my love for creating content. I was being so productive, which was the goal. I wanted to be an expert on productivity apps, tips and tricks, and I was being so productive, but that is when I learned that there is something called being too productive.
When the goal is always to reach another number, to grow a little more and to always create content that everyone wants to read and watch, you will end up getting burned out. Especially if you are like me and you don’t have too many hobbies. I think some background information is probably important. I grew up in an immigrant family in Norway, and one of the most important things I learned is that hard work pays off. I also grew up in a time where hustle culture was big. I have this memory of a background image on my phone: “Pain is weakness leaving your body.” You could say that I was a hustler, and I probably still am. I like having a lot to do. That is something that might change as I grow older, but right now my work means a lot to me.
When I decided to turn the YouTube channel around productivity into a business where the goal was to make money, something changed. My hobby went from being a hobby to becoming somewhere I needed to be productive. I lost my hobby, and I was not able to substitute it with anything else. I would go to work, and when I came home I would work more without it being fun. In my eyes, the major difference between earning money on your hobby and turning it into a business is that you cannot stop doing it if you don’t feel like it. You have to be “productive” even if you don’t have the energy for it or if you don’t want to.
There was also one other thing that made me struggle with the amount of stuff I had to do. I lost sight of why I wanted to become a content creator. I like talking to people, I like affecting people’s lives, and since I have struggled and still struggle with mental health (bipolar disorder), I wanted to help others somewhat. It is not as noble as it might sound. I wanted to do it because it made me happy. When I was younger and hustle culture was everywhere, I wished someone would tell me that there is more to life than work. When I talked about productivity apps, it was not just because I liked productivity apps and I liked the idea of doing more. It was because writing things down was one of the most important things I did for my mental health. It was because when the world felt too fast-paced, my note taking would slow me down. When scrolling TikTok made me sad, scrolling my note taking app would bring me joy and inspiration.
To me, productivity was not about doing more. To me, productivity is about doing the right thing. Living a life that is aligned with my values. Living a life based on my terms. And you might ask why we need productivity, note taking and writing things down to be able to do that? Because we have so much noise. Before, you would get your life choices questioned by neighbours, friends and family members. They would try to give you advice and affect your decisions. Keep in mind that they mostly wanted what was best for you, and still it would make your life harder because you could quickly end up living someone else’s life. Now imagine that, but every waking hour of your day, with everyone around the world, and many of them don’t even want what’s best for you. Every second of every day, we are getting input from people. It gets hard to think. In my eyes, that is where “productivity” comes in. It is rituals that help you think, reflect and align your goals with your values.
What I Have Changed
What happened with my YouTube channel around productivity apps was that I got obsessed with more instead of being obsessed with fun and enjoyment. There is also the fact that every productivity app now is full of AI features, and AI is telling me that I am soon out of a job and I no longer need to take notes either, but that is a story for another post. It is just that AI also affected me. But what happened was that I stopped doing it because I enjoyed it. I instead filmed videos because I felt like I had to. That would be okay if I had a separate channel where the goal was not to grow. Where I did not care about how many views I got or if I filmed videos every single day. I needed a separate channel where the hobby of creating content was the most important. A channel where I post whenever I feel like it and there is no system or plan. The goal is not growth, but I will not stand here and say that if it grows I will end up unhappy. If that channel grows, I might have to use the other channel as a hobby. The point is just that there should always be content channels in my life where the goal is just to create content and nothing more. This post is an example of that. It is not the best post I have posted, it is all over the place and not optimised, but it is real, fun and honest. I am, of course, always hoping that people enjoy reading it, but that is not the goal. I have already accomplished my goal if you are reading this. I have published a post I had fun writing. This is a type of post I want to incorporate more into all of my social channels. I call them fun posts. These are posts that are just meant to be fun.
The second thing I did was simply just doing fewer things. I did too much stuff, and I did way too much because I felt like I had to. In addition, I lost sight of my goals, values and the things I enjoyed, which just made everything so much worse. I also learned a lot more about myself. I learned that I am creative and enjoy making stuff. Designing products, websites and more. Which is something I am going to play around with a lot more going forward. I used productivity systems to realign myself with my goals, dreams and values. I am not here to preach doing more or using another app to become more productive. I am here to tell people my truth, which is that a more mindful approach to productivity can be really beneficial.
I also created a rule around some of my hobbies. Running and sports are things I will never create content around. I might mention them in a piece of content or talk about why they are important to my life, but I will never create a channel where I give tips and talk about the experiences from running. I will never create a channel where following sport is the goal. This is an interest I will keep to myself and those around me. So watching basketball, tennis, football, chess, e-sports and more will always be a hobby and never something I will create content about. I think having a hobby that you will never monetise is something everyone who can should consider.
The last thing I want to say is that all of this might change. We are humans and we change with experiences, so I will change, and my posts will be full of contradictions. In a year, I might say something different to what I am saying now because my values and my life have changed.